Reed Johnson is Fantastic!

What ever happened to... Scott Sanderson?

Remember Scott Sanderson? He pitched on 2 Chicago Cubs playoff teams ('84 & '89)? You've probably been wondering, whatever the fuck happened to that guy? Well, thank God for the Baptist Press news because they've got the scoop on Sanderson's whereabouts and his endeavors as a sports agent. If you're thinking he's like Scott Boras or Drew Rosenhaus in that flash and materialistic type of dude, you're wrong.

In a profession where materialism and avarice are prevalent, Sanderson said he and Moye consider their job an opportunity to model Christ. And with his vast first-hand knowledge, Sanderson relishes the opportunity to counsel his clients in a broad range of issues like handling success and failure on the field, dealing with a difficult manager and playing through injuries.

“There’s a lot of teaching that goes on, whether we mean it or not,” Sanderson said. “It’s great to have a baseball ministry.”

It's refreshing to see some levelheadedness in the sports agency world, although this sort of screams as a remake of Jerry Maguire (terrible movie by the way. I mean seriously, Cuba Gooding Jr. was a 4 foot 11 inch receiver. Give me a fucking break). With Sanderson doing good work and the Lord's work, it's only a matter of time before Fred Mitchell demands a statue of Sanderson outside of Wrigley Field.

Don't say World Series in front of Jay Mariotti

Jay Mariotti has a point in his column today, saying that Cubs fans and Cubs players are getting too excited too early and need to stop the World Series talk. Mariotti is right, since it is only April 25th, that it is way too early to talk World Series. But at this point, I say who cares, right? Get excited. If we don't talk about the World Series now, the Cubs will win it in October? If that were the case, I think we would have tried that sometime in the last 100 years. So at this point, I say go off the deep end. Start making plans for the World Series. Start planning your parties. Save days off of work for the parades in October. Just don't throw shit on the field.

Crane Kenney will now focus on securing World Series titles

Cubs Chairman Crane Kenney lost some of his responsibilities at the Tribune company, as he will step down as the Tribune Company's top lawyer and focus solely on his job with the Chicago Cubs. Owner Sam Zell had this great line about the move in the organization:

"This move will allow Crane to focus exclusively on securing a World Series championship as the team enters its next phase of ownership"

Oh well that's a relief. I'm glad Crane Kenney is fully onboard now. Here's a job tip for you, Crane. OK whatever Jim Hendry & Lou Piniella want to do with the team and don't get in the way. Sounds like an easy job if you ask me.

The Cubs magic number down to 140

Cubs win a crazy one last night, beating the Rockies in 10 innings. Kerry Wood blew the save and then ended up getting the win. I'm waiting for a writer or blogger to start writing about how Kerry Wood needs to be removed as the closer. I haven't seen anything yet and I shouldn't. If I do, we'll go off.

Although I didn't fully understand it at first, it makes perfect sense to have Carlos Marmol pitch in middle relief/set up man role. Marmol's electric stuff is perfect to use when there are runners on in the 6th/7th/or 8th. Marmol cleans up the mess in the middle of the game and it allows Kerry Wood to start clean in the 9th. This setup is modeled after the 1996 Yankees (Mariano Rivera- setup & John Wetteland - closer) and the 2002 Anaheim Angels (K-Rod - setup & Troy Percival - closer). With Marmol has setup extraordinaire, it gives the Cubs the best chance to hold leads and win.

Old video of former Cubs outfielder Craig Monroe

Take your base.



Hopefully somebody told Craig Monroe the proper way of hitting the ball.

The Cubs magic number down to 141

Another game, another close game-turned-blowout win. The Cubs, at 14-6, are having their best start since 1975.


How did the 1975 team finish the season? 75-87 overall. Just a reminder there's a long way to go.

Is Johan Santana lying? Or did the Twins cockblock the Cubs?

There's a story in today's Sun-Times that mentions that Johan Santana would have waived his no-trade clause and come to the Chicago Cubs, but the Twins supposedly never told Johan that the Cubs were interested.

''I was open to anything,'' said Santana, whose trade to the Mets in a 4-for-1 deal in February boosted them past the Cubs as the popular favorite to win the NL pennant. ''My mind-set was if they're going to trade me, that they trade me to a team willing to do whatever it takes to win it all. It looks like they're trying to win here [in Chicago]. That's what I was looking for.''

Cubs officials won't comment publicly about Santana, but privately they said they called the Twins when general manager Bill Smith put Santana on the block last winter and were told Santana wouldn't waive his no-trade clause for any team that didn't train in Florida or play on the East Coast. Santana said Monday that nobody told him the Cubs called and that -- despite the fact he makes his home in Fort Myers, Fla., where his young kids are in school -- the Florida spring-training issue was overblown. ''I said that would be more convenient,'' he said.

So is Santana just playing to the media because he's in Chicago this week? Or did the Twins actually not give the Cubs a chance? It's not like the Cubs don't have minor league talent to acquire Johan Santana. The Cubs could have cleaned out their system if need arose to land the Cy Young award winner.

At this point, it's stupid to get even a little worked up about this because Santana's with the Mets and he signed a long-term deal with them. Would it have been nice, absolutely. Am I going to lose a second of sleep over it? No. However, let's say that Santana had not signed with anybody and news was spread that Santana was interested in a trade to the Cubs. I'm suspecting that this story could have played out exactly like the Kobe Bryant/Chicago Bulls situation just a few months ago. Kobe Bryant claimed that he would have waived his no trade clause, but shit hit the fan and the calls poured in the radio stations about how it would be dumb to give up so much potential talent for one superstar. The talk radio shows would have been flooded once again about how it would be stupid to give up 5 or 6 guys or whatever it took to get Johan Santana on the Cubs, even though it would be the smart move to take the best pitcher in the game, just like it would have been the smart move to take the best player in the NBA. How did that non-trade work out for the Bulls?

Shocking: Ramirez on pace to double walk total from 2007

19 games into the season, the Cubs are showing an encouraging trend that the Trib is calling the Fukudome Effect, where the Cubs are leading the league in pitches seen per at-bat and also OBP. One of the aspects of the Boston Red Sox's approach last season that was easy to notice during the playoffs was their ability to swing at strikes and to have the discipline to take the pitches out of the zone. Last night was a perfect example of the Cubs having that approach last night. Despite the game being real close, with the score being only 2-1, the Cubs hitters were able to be patient enough to get Mets pitcher John Maine over the 100 pitch mark in only 6 innings of work. The Cubs patience and willingness to take walks, allowed the Mets bullpen to come in early, despite the game being a pitchers duel, and the Cubs took advantage by jumping all over Aaron Heilman and Duaner Sanchez. Last season, the Cubs seemed to struggle against the staff Aces, which became evident in the NLDS last year. One of the keys to winning playoff games or games against great pitchers is to find ways to force him to throw too many pitches, whether it's absolutely laying off balls out of the zone, or finding ways to foul off pitcher's pitchers, those hard to hit pitchers on the black. The Cubs are doing that in the first 19 games and it's important that continues.



The most encouraging sign from the whole "Fukudome Effect" or whatever you want to call it has been the approach by Aramis Ramirez. Ramirez, who was struggling to get hits consistently at the plate to start the season, has a crazy .409 OBP, which is 72 points higher than his career average. The cause? Ramirez's sudden ability to take more walks. Notoriously known as a free swinger, and a great free swinger at that, Ramirez currently has 12 walks in 19 games so far this season. Last season, Ramirez had 43 walks in 132 games. At this pace, if Ramirez were to play 132 games again, Ramirez would end up with 83 walks. You know Ramirez is going to hit well, but he's even more valuable if he can continue to get on via the free pass as well. With Ramirez taking pitches in front of a good, smart hitter like Fukudome, the Cubs could score a lot of runs off of any pitcher this season.

The Cubs magic number down to 143

Cubs win again. I'm going to keep posting the division championship magic number as long as their in first place in the NL Central. I don't care how absurd it is considering it's only April.

The Cubs magic number down to 144

With today's victory, the Cubs have climbed into first place in the NL Central. It doesn't matter what month it is, it's always good to hear the phrase, "Your first place Chicago Cubs."

I heart Marisa Miller

They need to find more reasons to bring Marisa Miller to Wrigley Field

Hurtin' for a Murton

The Cubs' staff corrected a mistake made earlier this week by sending Eric Patterson back to Triple-A this morning, and recalling Matt Murton. While Patterson's call up made sense at the time, it looks like Lou Pinella was leery of not having enough actual outfielders (Felix Pie doesn't count as one). Patterson was 0-6 this week, but wasn't going to get consistent time with Mike Fotenot, Ronny Cedeno, and Mark DeRosa all able to play second better than he can at this point in time.

Murton is with the team for Saturday's game, although it is unknown if he is in the line up this afternoon. If not, look for him to get in there Sunday, since he is someone who can actually make contact on a regular basis. Murton was hitting .317 with an OBP of .462 at Iowa.

Hurtin' for Murton's Return (Cubs.com)

Chicago Sun-Times says: Add "Racist" to definition of Cubs Fan

UPDATE (4/19/08): The shirts are gone.

The Chicago Sun-Times is doing what they can to pile on Cubs fans today with their timely article on the best selling, unlicensed t-shirt in Wrigleyville. With much of the talk this season being about the 100 years, the Cubs fans booing, the baseball travesty of 2008 in which 200 fans threw baseballs on the field and no one got hurt or came close to getting hurt, Cincinnati Reds announcer Marty Brennaman hoping the Cubs lose and putting the blame on Cubs fans, lowly Chicago beat writer Gordon Wittenmyer produces a political correctness gem about how Cubs fans are racists.

The t-shirt, which obviously could offend some people, is the best selling shirt in Wrigleyville. It's been on sale for some time now. The Cubs have had 8 home games, 8 home games in which some fans have been wearing this shirt. I'm curious as to why this story comes out now. Where was this story when the shirts first came out? I don't understand the media's everlasting hardon for stories about Cubs fans.

Yes, the shirts are offensive. So once again, just like the baseball massacre of 2008 in which nobody got hurt, the media bunches all the fans together and wags their fingers while they look down on us. Oh no, some people are wearing a stupid shirt some random guy made. If the Cubs organization or some entity licensed by the Cubs made them, then sure, get all over them. But save your PC drivel over some chopshop t-shirt vendor for somebody else. Because in the end, you can't stop random people from making obnoxious or offending t-shirts and you can't go labeling the Cubs as racists because some random idiot is selling the shirt.

Random t-shirt vendors sell this shirt. Where the fuck is your acticle calling White Sox fans all homophobes?

So I made some shirts. For instance:

Or this one:

Marty Brennaman not a fan of Cubs fans

A lot has been made over the Adam Dunn homer on Wednesday, where 12-18 (it keeps getting higher the more people talk about it) balls that were thrown back. It gave the Chicago Cubs beat writers for the Sun-Times and the Tribune to call all Cubs fans drunk losers who don't pay attention to the games anyways. It's standard procedure. Paul Sullivan and Gordon Wittenmyer presumably get off on this kind of stuff because it gives then an easy day at the office.


The Chicago beat writers, however, are not the only ones getting into the action now. Decrepid old broadcaster Marty Brennaman saw fit on Wednesday to go off on the air about his feelings on the Cubs, Cubs fans, and how they'll fare this season.

"This is what makes you want to see this Chicago Cubs team lose. Among all baseball fans -- I can't attest to the Yankees and Red Sox because we don't see them with any degree of regularity unless it's interleague play -- but far and away the most obnoxious fans in baseball in this league are those who follow this team right here. Throwing 15 or 18 balls on the field, there's absolutely no excuse for that and that is so typical of Chicago Cub fans. It's unbelievable."

"Throwing the ball back, that's great, that's a Chicago Cub tradition that other teams have picked up on, and that's fine."

"It's ridiculous, it really is ... You simply root against them. I've said all winter, people talk about this team winning the division, and my comment is they won't win it because at the end of the day, they're still the Chicago Cubs and they will figure out a way to screw this whole thing up.

Brantley: "And then they'll have no one to boo but themselves.

Brennaman: "Well, they never blame themselves."

Brantley: "They'll blame that old billy goat."

Brennaman: "Yep."

All right, so because a dozen fans throw balls on the field at the same time, it's easy to classify every single Cubs fan as an obnoxious fan. That's fine. People have been making that assumption for years. It seems to make foes of the Cubs feel better about themselves. A few people get out of hand, blame everybody. Wrigley Field is the only place where this ever happens. It never happens anywhere else. That's established. So what Marty has done here so brilliantly and through a well thought out process of just being a ornery old fuck, the Cubs won't win the division because of the fans. That could be the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, but what do I know, I'm only an obnoxious drunk fan who doesn't know a thing about baseball.



So I'm trying to think, why is this insufferable old gash taking the Cubs fans so harshly to task? Could it be that he's jealous the Cubs actually have fans show up to ball games, unlike the Cincinnati Reds? Was he jealous at the time that the Cubs were whooping the Reds ass? Is he jealous because the Reds continue to suck? Or is he still hung up over the fact that the Cubs organization passed over his son, Thom Brennaman, to hire Chip Carey to replace Harry Carey fulltime as the Cubs play by play announcer? Is Marty pathetic enough to still hold a grudge over this? By his comments of the Cubs fans blowing it for the Cubs this season, it's safe to say yes, Marty Brennaman is pathetic enough to hold a grudge this long. (Hey Marty, advise your douche-tastic son not to announce in condescending monotone.)

Soriano Heads to the DL

According to Cubs.com:

The Chicago Cubs today placed outfielder Alfonso Soriano on the 15-day disabled list with a right calf strain and recalled infielder Eric Patterson from Triple-A Iowa.

Patterson will wear uniform No. 4 and is available for tonight's game against the Cincinnati Reds at Wrigley Field.

We can only assume that from Patterson's call up that Mark DeRosa and Daryl Ward will get the bulk of the time in left field until Soriano returns, otherwise they likely would have called up Matt Murton. A good sign from this is that Soriano likely won't be out too long, otherwise Murton certainly would have been a better option than forcing DeRosa to the outfield for an extended period of time.

Soriano's calf forces him to DL (cubs.com)

I don't think you're supposed to go in there

Saving Drunken Wrigley Field Monkeys [Joe Sports Fan]

Are you interested in a "Cubs Curse" watch with a goat on it?

Haven't you always wanted your very own watch with the phrase, "Cubs curse" right on it?


No?


NO????????????


Well, somebody thinks there's a market out there because they're selling it on EBAY. 100 bucks says some scumbag White Sox fan buys it.

So who hates Leon Durham?

Fred Mitchell of the Chicago Tribune saw the story of Bill Buckner throwing out the first pitch at Fenway last week, and then seized the opportunity to get out of doing actual journalism and half-assed an article about Leon Durham.

Did you know that you still hate Leon Durham? Did you know that you even hated Leon Durham in the first place? I didn't either. Mitchell claims that Cubs fans still hate Durham for his error in the NLCS in 1984 against the San Diego Padres. Ask any Cubs fan who was old enough to remember watching that series who they still hate. None of them will say Leon Durham. Every single one of them will mention one name: Steve Garvey.

If people were going to hate Leon Durham, Fred Mitchell, which they don't, it would be because he had unfulfilled potential. Silver Slugger winner in 1982. Two time All-star early in his career. Are the Cubs supposed to bring back every player that had unfulfilled potential? Will ask that Corey Patterson throw out the first pitch one day? Mark Prior? Earl Cunningham? Jeremi Gonzalez? Angel Guzman? Kevin Orie?

Oh and Fred, let's not forget about Leon's little drug problem that got him suspended twice. But that doesn't need to be mentioned. Are you going to want a statue of him now too at Wrigley?

So before you write an article such as this, dig your head out of your ass.

Chads & Trixies: Derrek Lee thinks you'll do some booin' this week

What's going on with this pose? Why is the picture only taken from his waist on up? Is it because Neifi Perez and Jose Macias are taking turns gargling the Dustbag?

If you haven't looked at your schedule or looked at a newspaper, the Reds are coming to town and that means Dusty Baker returns. Fred Mitchell of the Trib will probably write an article soon about how the Cubs should put up a statue for Dusty Baker. I've read that some think Dusty should be greeted with applause because he led the Cubs to back to back winning seasons for the first time in a long time. Re-read the last sentence a few times and fully take in how absolutely pathetic that sounds.

Derrek Lee already knows what's going to happen when Dusty shows his face at Wrigley on Tuesday: "They boo everything now, so they might boo him," Derrek Lee said. "I don't see the reason why, but I wouldn't be surprised."

Derrek Lee takes a nice shot at the Chads & Trixies, the stereotypical Cubs fans that represent 75% of the fanbase, the fans who refer to the Cubs as "the Cubbies," the commenters at Bleed Cubbie Blue, and anybody else who give the rest of the fanbase a bad name because we're automatically lumped with you.

Lou Piniella thinks Lou Piniella drinking Red Bull/Vodkas would turn ugly

When asked about Zambrano and his cramping and caffiene issues for probably the billionth time, Lou Piniella spit out this gem.

"I've never had Red Bull in my life, but I've actually seen people at a bar order Red Bull and vodka," Piniella said. "I can't comprehend that. If I had a couple of those things, I'd be like the malt liquor bull leaving the bar. My lord."

I just can't picture a calm guy like Lou Piniella being a mean drunk.

It's safe to assume Lou Piniella doesn't like Geovany Soto

This has been a tough week for Geovany Soto. On Monday, he caught at 4 hour 47 minute, 12 inning game in which he caught for 7 different pitchers. On Wednesday, Soto was behind the plate squatting for a 4 hour 20 minute, 15 inning game in which he caught for 7 different pitchers.

So Lou gave Soto the day off on Thursday, right? RIGHT?

Wrong. Geovany Soto was behind the plate again. Do you think Soto was upset to see his name on the lineup card, as he probably hobbled around with his sore knees, hamstrings, and ass for squatting 27 innings? Was Soto pissed? We're sure he was fucking pissed. How do we know? Look at what he did at the plate last night.

You know how when you were starting off in Little League, and your coach told you to pretend the ball is somebody you hate so you swing harder? Soto probably did that last night.

Give the guy a break, Lou. The team needs him the rest of the season. Not just April.

Always Fun: Watching Jack McDowell get punched in the face

Mark Whiten KOs Jack McDowell [Big League Stew]

Where have I seen Adam LaRoche before?

Oh yeah, The 'Burbs. Good movie.

Pirates nearly pulled off victory last night due to Air Humping

The job of mascot is a weird job. The interview for it must be 4 questions at the most. Do you like making people laugh? Do you like to dance? Do you like to touch children? Do you feel like sweating in a giant costume for 5 hours? Little kids love the mascot and high school kids terrorize the mascot. The mascot, however, never makes an impact on the actual game being played.

Not so yesterday. During last night's game, the mascot seemingly pulled the Pirates back into the game. In the 14th inning, the mascot's air humping propelled a 2 run, game tying homer for the Pirates. Whatever the guy inside the costume is getting paid, it's not enough. He's the only one giving the Pirates any chance at actually winning. Now if he could only pitch...

You know Ryan Dempster/Louis CK is lying

Ryan Dempster/Louis CK said the right things after the game last night, that he's glad the Cubs were able to win and that we're all human and it didn't hurt blah blah blah. You know, I know, we all know he's full of shit. 7 innings, 1 hit, ZERO runs for the converted closer turned starter and comedian. As soon as the reporters left and everybody went home, I bet Dempster just unleashed on Wood. He probably gave Wood a beating like you wouldn't believe. Dempster did all that work in the offseason and he should be 2 and fucking 0 right now. He was probably so upset, he pounded Wood until he passed out.

Here, Dempster talks about pounding Wood.

Oh. Wrong type of Wood.

Can you win it in 9 innings, please?

I don't think I can physically and emotionally take an entire season like this if all the games are going to continually play out this way.

I'm starting to think that this might be true.

8 Balls on 8 pitches wins you trip to Iowa!

Carmen Pignatiello is headed to Iowa after his terrible outing on Monday. Sean Marshall is back with the squad. We originally said Pignatiello was more suitable for the LOOGY role and Sean Marshall should be sent down after Spring Training to remain fresh as a starter. We're wrong on half of that so far.

We don't want to say you blew it, Carmen, but you blew it. If you make it back, throw strikes next time. Or while you're in Iowa, have somebody explain the "strikezone" to you.

Point and Laugh: Melissa Isaacson is a Dusty Baker apologist

Melissa Isaacson's article on Dusty Baker is comedy at it's finest. It's filled with funny stories and funny jokes and you'll laugh til it hurts.

What do you mean it's not meant to be funny? Oh, well then this article is a piece of shit then.

He wonders why he still qualifies as news in Chicago, why people can't move on, and maybe Dusty Baker has a point.

No he doesn't. Nobody is talking about him except you, Melissa. But your arrogance is admirable when you consider yourself "Chicago."

But he did admit it was so difficult leaving Chicago with promises of World Series glory unfulfilled that he would have done almost anything for one more chance.

How many more second chances did he want? He got 20! He should have been fired after Game 7 of the NLCS in 2003, the same way Grady Little was fired by the Red Sox after Game 7 of the ALCS in 2003. Carlos Zambrano and Matt Clement are still waiting in the bullpen to be brought in Game 7 when it was clear Kerry Wood didn't have his stuff that night. He got a second chance in 2004, with a better team, and blew that one in catastrophic proportions.

It's very, very harsh in Chicago, said Chris Speier. "I don't think there is a manager who has been there who hasn't said Chicago, especially the North Side fans and the media, can be brutally harsh and sometimes unfairly harsh. I'll be the first one to say it.

Wow, Chris. That's funny. Harsh, huh? Was the team and city harsh when they gave you a second chance after your embarassing DUI? Shut your mouth.

"I hate losing. Here I was trying to figure out a way to get us on the winning track and it seemed like quicksand, where it got worse and worse and then it affects your sleep pattern, your health, you're irritable. It worsened because we were losing. We finished last. That's not me.

You know what made Cubs fans irritable? Playing Neifi Perez everyday. Mismanaging your pitchers made us irritable. Calling Cubs fans racists made us irritable. 2004 made us irritable. Your toothpick made us irritable. Your wristbands made us irritable. And most importantly, YOUR EXCUSES MADE US IRRITABLE.

Not News: Brewers Fans are Scumbags

The Milwaukee Brewers opener drew a big crowd in their parking lot, with the entire 12,500 spot lot filled with tailgaters. With tailgaters comes drinking. With drinking comes lots of pissing. So what do Brewers fans do when the lines at the port-a-potties are way too long?

One man set up a plywood screen around a large plastic barrel and charged $1 per use. By about 2:15 p.m. the entrepreneur had gone to the game, and the barrel was one-third filled.

A nearby competitor was reportedly charging $3 per visit for a crude toilet surrounded by a shower curtain.

So what do you think the "entrepreneur" with the the piss filled barrel did when the game was over? He wouldn't have just poured it out right there, as that would have defeated the whole purpose of setting up the barrel. Considering many of their fans goal is to be soaked in it, the guy probably brought back to his trailer and bathed in it.

Wait, nevermind. That would be people from Wisconsin shower. And we know that's not true.

Who knew Cardinals fans had a sense of humor?

Fan of the Week [JoeSportsFan.com]

Alfonso Soriano has found way to finally hit the ball

3 for 32.

.092 batting average.

Stay hot, Alfonso.

Stay hot.

Everyone is a Steve Bartman apologist now

Rick Morrissey whips up some garbage 4.5 years too late because apparently he didn't feel like doing real work yesterday. Next he'll probably write an article on how the Cubs haven't won the World Series in almost 100 years. Next week, he'll write an article about how overrated the 1969 Cubs team was and how sick and tired he is hearing about it. Keep up the good work, Rick! (At least Rick Morrissey took a shot at Jay Mariotti. Everybody at least appreciates that.)

- Cubs and Brewers do NOT have any hard feelings over the 7 hit batters and Rickies Weeks plowing Geovany Soto. At least not yet, anyways.

- After one game and one win, everything has been settled as far as lineups are concerned according to Gordon Wittenmyer.

- Ryan Dempster was nervous watching Kerry Wood close out the game yesterday. NOW HE KNOWS HOW EVERY SINGLE CUBS FAN FELT EVERYTIME HE CLOSED.

- One game is all Chris DeLuca needed to see. Ryan Dempster to the rotation is a success. Forget the next 30 starts. One is all Chris DeLuca needed to see.

- Expect to see Reed Johnson against the Astros today, as Felix Pie has a nice bruise on his wrist after getting hit by a pitch yesterday.

- Cubs' minor leaguer Robert Hernandez has been suspended for 50 games for taking the steriod stanozolol.

Take One for the Team

It's a couple weeks old, but I had to put it up anyways.

The best part: Big Z walking off the field, taking the hat off and pointing to the sky, after drilling the instructor.

Cubs Fan, Chicago Sun-Times reminds everyone Prince Fielder is a fatass

{Photo from Chicago Sun-Times)

Random Pictures from Game 3...

Kerry Wood came into the game today to AC/DC's "TNT." Wood wasn't impressed and he'd rather have Gary Pressey tickle the ivory.

Game 3: Cubs Get Win #1!

It took 3 games, but the Cubs finally got a win and chance to finally raise the "W" flag. The win helps the Cubs avoid a 3 game sweep, which would have been absolutely embarrassing considering game 3's starter was Dave Bush.

- Ryan Dempster gets win #1, while Kerry Wood gets save #1. Wood bounces back well from the disaster on Opening Day.

- The Cubs had 4 stolen bases, which are the most since I can remember. I'll try to find out when the last time the Cubs had 4 or more stolen bases in a game, but for now, we'll just say it's the first time in a long time.

- Kosuke Fukudome got on base 3 times today, and newly appointed leadoff man Alfonso Soriano went 1 for 4 with 2 RBI.

- Cubs play the Houston Astros this Friday-Sunday. That means fatass Carlos Lee will be in town.

- Solid Day: Derrek Lee went 0-5 with 3 left on base.

Cubs Try to Avoid Sweep

Ryan Dempster will head to the mound this afternoon to try and help the Cubs avoid a sweep to open the season at the hands of the Brewers. Dempster will be making his first official start since May 4, 2005, also against the Brewers.

The Brewers will counter with Dave Bush who is 1-5 in eight career games against the Cubs and 0-2 in four starts at Wrigley Field. Hopefully the Cubs can use some of that history in their favor to get their first win of the year.

As mentioned in an earlier post, Alfonso Soriano will be moved into the lead-off spot once again and it looks like he and Ryan Theriot will just flip flop in the 1 and 2 spots for now. I would have to guess that as much as Lou Piniella wants a consistent line up, he secretly likes to constantly change things up and that this will likely continue at least until everyone gets going.

Alfonso Soriano Batting Leadoff on Thursday

Alfonso Soriano batting the the 2 spot didn't last too long, as he'll be in the leadoff spot tomorrow against the Brewers. In the first 2 games of the season, Soriano has gone 0 for 9 with 3 whiffs.

We'll see if batting leadoff will change anything for the Cubs. It definitely won't change things for Soriano, as he'll swing at whatever is thrown to the plate regardless.

No word on where Theriot goes now. Will he go to #2? Or could Lou move Kosuke Fukudome to #2 to take advantage of his OBP in front of Derrek Lee and Aramis Ramirez?

Either way, LET'S SCORE SOME RUNS TOMORROW!


Please?

Game 2: Yeah, So Where's The Offense?

Two games in the books and two losses in the standings. The Cubs have scored 100% of their runs on home runs, 5 runs in total.

Jumping to conclusions: This team looks like an awful lot like the 2004 underachieving team.

Realistically: It's 2 games. Big deal.

Tomorrow: Can we get win #1 out of the way and avoid a sweep at the hands of the Milwaukee Brewers?


- Carlos Zambrano has been told to change his diet and to eat more bananas.

Alou now claims Bartman didn't interfere; We say bullsh*t, Moises

Jay Mariotti says Moises Alou has been urinating on Steve Bartman for the past 4.5 years. Ouch. While we don't put 100% of the 2003 NLCS collapse on Steve Bartman, Moises Alou is out of his gourd if he thinks he wouldn't have caught it anyways now.


- People continue to make a big stink over the missing apostrophe on the Ernie Banks statue.

- Wrigley Field has been put on the Endangered Place List, while outside U.S. Cellular Field is still on the dangerous place list.

- The sale of Wrigley to the state of Illinois looks unlikely right now, mostly because they haven't figured out how they would pay for all the renovations (taxpayers).

- The new Wrigley Field grass is as slick as a pool table right now.

- Here's your chance to learn about Ryuji Araki, the interpreter for Kosuke Fukudome.

- Kevin Hart has been put in charge of carrying about the pink backpack to and from the bullpen all season because he has the shortest tenure of any of the relievers.

- As if Roger Bossard needed it, Jason Kendall has given him a good grade on the job he did on fixing up the field.

Paul Sullivan would like you to shut up in the Press Box

Grouchy little greaseball Paul Sullivan, beat writer for the Chicago Tribune, is already complaining about the Japanese media surrounding One-Game Legend Kosuke Fukudome.

The Fukudome effect is even apparent in the press box, where the Cubs allowed a Japanese radio station to do play-by-play during the game. The Japanese announcer shrieked wildly during Fukudome's at-bats, embarrassing some of the Japanese print media, who are very polite and take their job very seriously.

After Fukudome's second hit -- a single up the middle -- I asked a Japanese friend what the guy was screaming. "He's saying Fukudome has two hits. He is the whole Cubs offense," he said.

There's no doubt that was true on Monday, but it'd be nice if the Cubs told the guy to do his yelling elsewhere in the future.

As Hall of Fame baseball writer Jerome Holtzman once wrote, there is no cheering in the press box.

Well that didn't take long. It only took Paul one regular season game to complain. Get used to it Paul. It's April 1st. Imagine what it's going to be like in October.

Paul Cowardly Says Shut Up in His Blog [Hardball]

Off-Day: Dutchie Carey Hates AT&T Commecials with John Camponera

Dutchie Carey, widow of Harry Carey, is pissed off about the AT&T commercials featuring the impersonation of Harry by John Camponera. Some words used: "sick" "disgusted" "unprofessional" and "idiot dope."

- The Brewers are just as confused as everybody else on where this Fukudome was in Spring Training.

- Fred Mitchell would like to see a lot more statues. Will Rey Sanchez get one next?

- Voodoo doll of Sam Zell was spotted at Wrigley yesterday.

- Carlos Zambrano's agent needs to get him a Water endorsement with Aquafina or whatever, because the cramping is getting old.

- Theriot/Soriano/Lee/Ramirez combine for a solid 1-18 performance, with 6 K's.

- After months of trying to work a deal with the Cubs that would include Ronny Cedeno, the Orioles have decided to sign recently cut Alex Cintron instead. Nice work, Andy McFail.